Bend A Little More
by ghostlygeorge
Summary: Two years after coming to America, Jess and Jules find themselves 'bending' a little more than footballs. Warning: Femmeslash. JessJules.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I **don't **anything. I ain't making any money...don't sue me...

* * *

"Jess," the voice groggily rang out. "Jess, it Joe on the bell for you."

"Would you tell kindly tell him what time it is here?" Jess replied rolling over and pulling a pillow over her head.

"Jess, say it's three in the morning here." Jules replied dropping her head back onto her pillow. Her eyes were shut and she was trying not give into the urge to chew the man in England out.

_"Tell her it's important."_ He whined. Ever since they had left home, Jules was finding herself disliking Joe more and more. Even more so than when she found out they were indeed dating. Joe and Jess were her mates. But she was partial to Jess. Joe was being annoying.

"Joe, we have a 6:30 practice tomorrow." Jess snorted. The practice Juliette was referring to was a night practice. But if the misleading information allow Jessminder to go to sleep it was fine with her. Yawning, the Indian girl tried to find a more comfortable spot in her dorm room bed. "And then we're moving into our new apartment, Joe. We have a long day ahead of us." They were actually moving the next day, but again if it got them peace and quiet it was fine.

_"I understand that, and if you would just wake her up, you could both go back to sleep. Now, give Jess the bloody phone."_ Joe snapped.

"Watch it Joe. You aren't my coach anymore." Jules said quietly. Even as mates, there was bad blood between the two. Jess decided to cut it short as she pulled herself from her bed. She stood over Jules' bed and held out her hand. "You are very very lucky, Joe. You hear me, lucky!" She shouted at the phone as Jess pressed her knee into the blonde's gut and wrenched the phone from her hands. "Pikey bastard!"

After throwing a pillow at the girl, Jess retreated to her bed with the cordless phone and held up to her ear. "Hey Joe," she said softly and tiredly. Laying back down she wrapped herself in her blankets.

_"Hey love,"_ The Irishman cooed.

"Joe, it's late. Or really early. I can't be sure. I'm too tired." she mumbled into the phone.

_"I know. I just wanted to tell you. I've asked your Da."_ Joe rambled on.

"Asked him what?" Jess was thoroughly confused. She couldn't remember chatting with Joe about anything that would lead him to talk with her father.

_"I've asked if I could marry you." _

Jess shot up out of her bed. "What?!" she screeched. Jules popped up too, startled by the loud noise. "Joe we didn't talk about that. _We_ never talked about it."

_"I thought that this was the ultimate goal?" _ Joe sounded crestfallen.

Jess sighed. "Ideally. But I'm not done with school. I'm not even sure if -"

_"I get it. You're not sure if you love me. You're not sure if you could marry a white boy."_

"No need to get your bloody Irish up, Joe!" Jess normally subdued voice was rising to match his. "All I'm saying is I'm not ready for marriage!" Jules looked on, her face was full of concern but Jess couldn't see that in the dark.

_"I see." _Joe continued. _"You got around all those American blokes , and now you don't know what you want?" _

"What?!" Jess was the most focused individual on the planet. Her life was football and school. That was all and it. She couldn't understand why Joe was raving like he was.

_"It's fine! I get it!" _Jess was left with a ringing sound in her ear.

"He hung up on you?" Jules asked falling back onto her mattress. "He's insecure that's all. Jess, you're a catch. I don't see why you're letting yourself be held down by the Mick."

Shaking her head, she walked over and put the phone back on the stand. "Don't call him a Mick." She said quietly. Standing over the side of the bed, Jess waited. After a few seconds, Jules made a show of groaning and moving over for her friend to slid into bed with her. "He asked Dad for my hand." Jess murmured to Jules back.

Tensing up, Jules held her breath. "Really? I thought he just proposing the idea, or moving out here, or had bought the ring." All of those things were serious moves. But talking to an Indian girl's father about marriage was huge. The biggest step of all. In the pit of Jules' stomach she felt – she wasn't sure what she was feeling. "I – I – "

"I don't love him anymore." Jules blinked at hearing that.

"What?"

Jess sighed. "I don't love him. Maybe I never did. I must have been mad before to think this would work. But it doesn't matter." Jules turned over to face Jess. "Every time he calls, he's yelling at me about something. I can't handle the stress." Jess shuddered feeling Jules wrap her arms around her. "I know I should have let it go on for this long, but I couldn't – I didn't know how to break it off."

The blond listened to her. Jess had to wonder if she was judging her. Jules always had it together. Even in her wild nature, the English girl was always composed and graceful. If she was offended she handled it with humor, making the offender look stupid. Jess envied that. She wondered what she had done in her past life to gain her such a friend. She also wondered why she was being punished with the odd feeling she was feeling for Jules. "It's alright. Sometimes it just gets old, you know?" Jules said steadily. "You're human Jess. If anything own the shame and move on. Joe's Irish. There will always be some slag to flutter over his accent."

Jess barked out a laugh. "Just like the blokes flutter over yours?"

"They do until they get hit with a football." Jules smirked and rolled back over. "Go to sleep."

But she couldn't sleep. Joe would call again in a couple hours. He would tell her he's sorry, and that he was just missing her. He just wanted to be near her again. The Indian girl could recall similar feelings a year ago. But she was feeling them less and less until they finally just disappeared. Jess wasn't so excited when he called or sent treats. When she and Jules went home for holidays, she dreaded seeing him. He wanted to spend every minute with her. She hardly saw Jules or Toni. She saw enough of her family of course.

"I said, go to sleep! You're thinking too bloody loud."

The next day was not dull. A long banging on the dorm room door, jolted Jess and Jules. Looking quickly down at Jules' nearly bare top, Jess blushed. The girl was wearing a thin sport bra and running shorts. Unable to determine whether it was the flush of the tanned white skin or the fact that Jules' was so free with herself, Jess moved to get out of the bed. She felt a firm hand wrapped around her forearm.

Jules yawned widely. "We don't have to be up for another two hours. Lie back down. If you get up and do something now, you'll be stressed out by the time practice starts." She fell back onto the bed, her blond hair splaying over the pillow. It was longer now, nearly touching her shoulders. Jess wasn't sure if she fancied it longer or shorter. Either way it seemed to frame her slender face, and allowing her pouty lips to sit on her face, begging for attention. Jess could hardly believe herself sometimes.

The odd fashion in which Jess was staring at her, did not escape Jules. Her bright brown eyes lazily connected with Jess'. There was small quirking of her lips. "What are you thinking about?"

"Is it?" Jess replied blankly, having missed what Jules had asked completely. She was still lost from Jules' quick hold on her arm. "Oh, what? Guess I'm still a bit tired, innit?"

"Which is my you should come back to bed." Jules said well aware of how it sounded. She had to admit she liked they way Jess lowered her head looking embarrassed and flustered. It brought a smile to her face, that was always wiped away by the time Jess got the grapes to look up again.

Watching Jules roll over to face the wall, Jess resigned and slid back under the covers. "School wasn't for another two weeks." Jess couldn't rightly remember why they had come back so early. "What are we do for that whole time? Practice is optional."

Jules sighed and rolled over to face the ever thinking girl. Exuding a certain confidence, Jules watched Jess through half-lidded eyes. "To do this." With that Jules closed her eyes, and promptly fell asleep.

Or so Jess thought.

Waiting for Jess to relax and shift into the mattress, Jules was waiting for the right moment. Waiting for the breathing to get heavier and slower. A wicked grin crawled over her face. Her hand reached behind her back. Her weapon in her grasp, Jules popped up out of the bed and onto her knees. Jess' eyes widened in surprise. "Dump Joe!" The blond shouted wielding her pillow, she slammed it down onto the brunette's head.

Frozen stiff, Jess growled and covered her head. "Bloody wanker!" she cried trying to sit up enough to pull the slim woman's waist back down on the bed. "You'll bloody pay!" she screamed. Managing to get some kind of leverage under the torrent of pillow blows to her head, Jess pushed her attacker to bed.

In the moments of heavy breathing, Jules smirked. "I knew you were a top."

Next Time: Knock, knock "We're going to break- oh I see you're already about to eat..."


	2. Chapter 2

Jess stared down at Jules. Brown hands wrapped around white wrist, to pin the taller slimmer girl to the bed. Jess was just incredulous at what Jules had just said. She could barely wrap her head around it. _"I knew you were a top."_ What did that even mean? Jules seemed know she was stumped and just laughed. Before either of them could say anything, someone burst into the room.

"Hey girls, we were just about to go and grab break -" The voice stopped. Jess and Jules both arched their necks, Jess to look over her shoulder and Jules to look around Jess. "Oh. Looks like you already have or are getting ready to eat..." The girl in the doorway murmured with a broad smirk on her face.

"Shut it," Jess mumbled. "It's not what it looks like!" Even in her embarrassment she wasn't ready to lose her tussle with Jules. However it was this time that she noticed a slim thigh nestled between her legs. She tightened her jaw and listened to both Jules and Kylar laugh at her awkward position.

"Oh it isn't?"

"It ain't!" Jess snapped.

Jules' smooth and silky laugh interrupted her thoughts. Even pinned to the bed in such a provocative position, she didn't seem bothered. "What do you propose we do now?"

Watching her lips move, Jess in awe of they puckered out when Jules challenged her in that arrogant way. "I suggest you get off of her." Kylar muttered and started to mosey around the room.

"Why did you give her that key?" Jess growled. "She's in here all the time, and I get locked out all the time." Jules had given Kylar Jess' key to the dorm. She was their best American friend. Playing football and going to school together for the past two years hadn't really gotten the pair any friends. Most of the students saw them as snobby British girls. When they heard of the football antics, they were positive Jules was off limits (Jess put herself off limits, she was Indian). When they saw the two together, they were certain they were together.

"You're supposed to be with your lover at all times anyway." Kylar sniped.

Jules tightened her jaw. She wasn't fond of Kylar's tactics to try and get them together. She was too blunt for the English girl's tastes. Jess was confident she was just being a prat. Jess and Jules had another staring match. Neither of them had moved since Kylar's intrusion, who was now logging onto Jules' Macbook.

The phone rang. Jules moved her hand (attached was Jess') to the ringing stand. With a grin she brought the phone to her ear. Jess had gotten considerably stubborn over the years. "Hello?"

_"Jules? Hello darling! How are you? I'm surprised you are up so early. What is it? Six in the morning?" _

"Hello Mother," Jules sighed. "If you think it's so early here, why are you bloody calling, then?" Jess noticed the darkening frown on the girl's face. Jules rolled her eyes and set the phone on the nightstand. Making a face, Jess let go of her and moved to put her mother on loudspeaker. As soon as the woman's voice began to fill the room, Jules covered her head with a pillow.

_"Jule? Are you there Jules? I was talking to the girls just the other day. Did you know Brenda Reese is getting married next month."_

"No I did not know. And I don't care, Mum." Jules groaned. The woman continued on wondering when Jules was tying the knot and when she would have grandchildren. Jules had been able to stifle her mother suspicions on her sexuality, but only because she wasn't ready to come out just yet. She hadn't been comfortable with herself. And now she was in this predicament.

"Jules? Married?" Kylar burst out laughing.

_"Was that a yank?"_ Mrs. Paxton exclaimed. _"Well, I never! Why is there a yank in your room? Those Americans will steal anything you know?!" _

Jules sighed heavily. Her mother wasn't even fazed that she was one speaker phone. Kylar at least wasn't offended. She had been two years ago, but after Jules explained to her that her mother was a nutcase she had quickly gotten over it. Her own mother was the same way.

_"And just what did she mean 'Jules? Married? HA HA HA!'" _She went on indignantly. _"Doesn't she know you're marrying Joe?_ _Of course when he gets out of that little fling with that Indian trollop."_

"Hello, Mrs. Paxton." Jess grumbled. Even if she wasn't interested in Joe anymore, she was upset over being called a trollop.

_"Why hello Jess!" _

All three of the young women groaned at the pleasant cheeriness that rang from the speaker. "Mum, I have to go. I've got practice."

_"I'll be glad when you stop fooling around and come home Juliette! It's not right for a girl to be so far from her family."_

"Goodbye Mum!"

"Cheers Mrs. Paxton."

Jules before her mother could respond turned off the phone. She was quite done with the conversation. "That woman."

"She's your mum Jules." Jess reasoned.

"Doesn't mean she gets to be a bitch." Kylar opposed.

"Kylar, why are you even here?" Jules asked. Only her mother (and losing a match) put her in a foul mood. The snarky part of Jules was always a dangerous thing to be around.

"Well I interrupted your little 'snogfest' to see if you wanted to get breakfast," the girl murmured. Jess looked over and saw that Kylar was actually checking player stats of her favorite team. "Then the witch called."

"No one was snogging." Jess said stiffly.

"Right." Kylar responded dragging the vowel to show her sarcasm.

Jules got out of bed and stretched . Still in her bra and shorts, Jess blushed. Although it was well hidden under her dark skin tone, Jules could tell. She found it endearing that even after all this time, she was still shy when it came to showing skin. Jules did love to look at Jess' body though. She knew Jess liked looking at hers. Jules was better at hiding it though. "I suppose we could do breakfast." With a yawn she shot a look at Kylar. "Why don't you go get, then? I don't feel like eating in the cafe today. Too much noise."

"Got a headache, do you?" Jess asked looking worried. "Do you need some pills?"

The taller American threw animated facial expression over Jess' head. Jules couldn't respond with Jess examining her. "No. I – you know how I feel when Mum calls." Jules smiled and flopped back on her bed.

"I'll be back..." Kylar said slowly, hinting she'd take her time.

Jess was folding up clothes. _Now's a good time as any, _Jules thought to herself. She said that she would tell Jess how she felt before they moved out of the dorms and into their apartment. Actually Kylar had made her promise she would. Jules wasn't sure, but the African American was adamant. _"It should be out in the air," she had said. "No pink elephants in the room." Jules had laughed. "The saying is 'elephant in the room.'" Kylar had just waved her hand. "Anyway, Get it out of the way, so in case if you can't make it work you don't move in just to move out."_

It had made sense at the time. But now Jules was poking holes in the reasoning. They had lived together all this time without any problems. Jules had been attracted to Jess since before they had left England. Why all of sudden would there be problems? Kylar had suggested Jules would be more bold without people always around them.

_What does Kylar know?_ Jules thought harshly. Kylar was bisexual. She knew more than Jules.

"You alright?" Jess asked. "Do you need something?"

Jules felt her heart flutter. If she was this caring as a friend, would it be different after she knew? "I'm fine mate." She said in an unconvincing way, complete with a weak smile and chuckle.

"Jules, I ain't dumb." Jules decided to leave that one alone, Jess didn't look to be in the mood for jokes.

"You're not" Jules said with an ease smile that vexed her even more.

"Don't piss me about." She huffed and crossed her arms. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong. It feels right, I'm just not sure."

Jess opened her mouth in an effort to get a less cryptic answer. But the phone rang again. For the third time that morning. Never taking her eyes off of Jules, the Indian girl picked up the phone. "Hello?"

_"Jess! I'm so sorry for early. I wasn't meaning to upset you or talk to you that way. I'm insecure with you so far away from me." _Joe said quickly and breathlessly.

"Now's not a good time Joe. I'm tired from practice." Jess lied easily. Jules' brown eyes seemed to bore directly into her. She felt uncomfortable and warm, as she watched Jules move to the end of the bed. The shorts, she slept in rode up her tight thighs.

_"I understand. Call me when you're free."_ Joe said dejectedly, before hanging up.

Sighing Jess broke eye contact with Jules' and hung up the phone. In some odd way she felt like she was betraying Joe. Jules made the decision that right then wasn't the best time to out herself to Jess. They would have to get of this Joe hump before anything.


	3. Chapter 3

Kylar was upset when she reentered the room and she didn't find the two British girls going at it. Carrying the bags of breakfast from the cafeteria, Kylar had thought about standing at the door and listening for moans, but decided it would be much more fun to just open the door and catch them in another compromising situation.

Looking up from her magazine, Jules stared at Kylar, who glared back. "What you doing, mate?" She asked, twisting up her face into a question.

"Trying to figure out what's wrong here."

"Well, have fun." Jules snorted and went back to her reading material. Jess rolled her eyes and finished tucking her clothes into her neatly organized suitcase. Casting a sideways look at the other side of the dorm, Jess sighed. "Leave me alone..." Jules grumbled at the Indian woman.

"When are you going to pack?" She asked, exasperated. "It's like you're not moving at all."

There was a tense moment. All three women felt it. Kylar tossed nervous glances at both Jess and Jules. The blond, however was content to ignore it. Jess couldn't get over how one side of the room looked so well lived in and the other looked bare and unoccupied. "I'll get to it, I already started." Jules pointed her foot at two stacked boxes in the corner.

"You never opened those!" Jess threw up her arms and gave up, again.

"What'd ya bring me to eat?" Jules asked, sliding off her bed. Noting the change in clothing, Kylar eyed the blue track pants Jules had on. They looked oddly familiar. Jules reached out for one of the bags. Kylar snatched it out of reach and caught the brown eyes of Jules, posing a wordless question. "What?" Jules followed Kylar's gaze down. "I mixed in most of my clothes with Jess' so I don't have to pack as much."

"That doesn't explain why you're wearing her sweats." Kylar stated snatching the bag away again.

"She practically switch all her clothes with mine. Her clothes are all packed." Jess said in a low voice and tossed a dark look at Jules, who just grinned and reached for the food again. "I can't believe I didn't notice."

Kylar ready to snap back with a snide comment received, instead, a jab to the gut. Jules cheekily grinned as she grabbed the food and set it on Jess' bed. The bed was bare now as well. Jess usually slept in Jules' bed anyway. One night without sheets wasn't changing much. "Pancakes..." Jules muttered with disgust.

"You're welcome to eat something else, Juliette. I'm sure Jessminder will oblige." The African American woman chided in the poshest accent she could manage without laughing.

"Dammit Ky." The joke was probably lost on Jess, but it nearly made the blond blush. Nearly.

The Indian woman just rolled her eyes. Much of what Kylar said sounded like it had a double meaning but most of it she didn't get. It was like Jules and Kylar were having a private conversation. It didn't bother her much. If she did know what Kylar was talking about she'd probably have a heart attack, or so she thought. It was better to be in the dark.

Kylar was already eating by the time Jess had pulled out the food and arranged it in the styrofoam box for Jules. Knowing that their teammate was ready to say something, Jules shot her a look over Jess' head. "You guys are so boring..." She mumbled in between bites.

Jules sat on her bed next to Jess, noting how their thighs touched, easily. Jess didn't pull away from the contact like she used to. It almost seemed as though she leaned into it. "Have you decided what to do about Joe?" She asked, quietly.

Neatly cutting her pancakes into prefect eighths and cutting her sausages into bite sized pieces, Jess avoided answering the question for as long as possible. "I can't do anything until I see him." Jess said quietly before neatly picking pancake triangles up.

Tempted to call her on that lie, Jules begrudgingly sat back and sawed at her own food. "You don't like confrontation." She mumbled through the food in her mouth. "Get over it."

"Easier said than done, Jules." She dipped her food in and ate it, gingerly. "I don't understand why you care so bloody much."

Jules pursed her lips and kept quiet. The silence grew heavy, forcing Kylar to make a rude noise. Jess' snapping had thrown her off. It always did. Jules would hardly call her friend moody. But at that moment, Jess' lowered head, and jabs at her food bewildered her. She wanted to reach out and offer a comforting piece of advice, or maybe just hold her. But how would she do that, without frightening Jess away.

The silence began to wear on the Indian girl. She didn't like it. Perhaps she spoke a little too harsh. Kylar wasn't particularly used to seeing her like this. Jules had seen it enough, but she never reacted. It was like a child throwing a tantrum, she ignored it until it was over. Sliding her dark brown eyes over, Jess watched the blond gingerly eat her meal. It seemed so mechanical, like she wasn't getting any joy from it.

Kylar silently predicted that it would be a hellish practice.

XXX

She was right. Nothing seem to go Jules' or Jess' way that evening. The two girls that seemed to share a mind couldn't connect. They couldn't read each other or the field. Jess was convinced she was off because of Joe. Jules was really the biggest concern, she thought. Jess couldn't figure out why she cared so much, it seemed as though Jules was caring more than a good friend should. Her attempt to pound the ball into the goal failed, the kick was off and the ball soared over the goal post.

Kylar, the defense, just watched the ball and shook her head.

Sighing, Jess watched Jules retrieve the ball and head towards her. "Where's ya head at mate?" Jess blushed, hating that Jules was reprimanding her in front of the team. Jules was the co-captain. That just made it all the worse, as Jess was captain right along with her. "You plan on playing like that for the game?"

Jess frowned, and squared. "Me? You playing awful too!" Balling up her fist, she glanced around at the team. They were all watching them, Jess immediately started to feel self-conscious.

"I'm not the one who too a reckless shot just to vent some frustration!" Jules snapped, but she felt horrible after it.

"Oh? And maybe you're just thinking of a way to comfort Joe!" cried Jess.

Blinking, the English girl was unsure of how to take that. Jess knew she didn't care about Joe more than she would an annoying older brother. "We're not talking about your poor taste in men, or your inability to stop dragging them along." Jules said in a low, acidic voice.

Jess bristled. She was not a tease. Not saying a word, she huffed and stormed off to the locker room. Jules just hung her head, feeling awful. She really couldn't believe she said that. Kylar jogged up beside her and nudged her gently. "I'll handle the coach. Go handle your girl." She murmured. Jules gave her a pleading look, begging Ky to go in her place. The black girl just shook her head and jogged off to the coach, who was looking quite confused.

At that moment, her long lean legs felt like lead. The trudging walk towards the showers and locker room, took almost twice as long as it did after a long practice. Not even the thought of Jess trying to get over her shyness and counting the seconds she didn't have to be in the shower with everyone else, sped Jules' walk up. What was she going to say? 'I'm sorry for anything those awful things, even though I was thinking them?' What was Jess thinking? What if Jess didn't want to live with her anymore? What if she didn't want to be friends anymore?

Standing in front of the door, Jules pushed the thoughts out of her mind, then pushed against the door. "Jess," she called out softly. "Jess, I'm sorry for what I said." The locker room was empty. Jules treaded further in, and ended up in the shower room. "Jess?" Hearing water running, she consider leaving. Jess being in the mood she was in now, walking in on her naked was not going to make it better.

Kylar popped into her head. That tiny little daredevil screamed 'Go for it! Now's better than never!' With a deep breath, she pushed the glass door open. "Jess?" Her breath hitched in her throat, as she caught sight of said girl, standing under the torrent of the shower head. The black silky hair wet and sticking to her back, ending just at the top of her butt. Jules' mind went blank. She knew she should be moving out of Jess' private space, but the dark skin shivered and shook. It was aching to be touched, stroked. And if that's what the skin was aching for, what of the girl?

Before she came to her senses, Jules was moving toward her. She barely noticed the water hitting her, as her fingers brushed against the brown ones. Jess turned. Instead of seeing shock and horror, Jules' saw tears mingling with the water on her face. Her dark eyes were puffy and red. Wrapping her arms around Jess, she pulled the girl close to her body. Jules, then, realized the water was ice cold.

The weight of the world seemed to make Jess collapse. Jules held her, but allowed them both to sink to the floor. Reaching up, she turned off the water. Her jersey stuck to her skin. Jess wasn't a crier, but the soft sobs seemed to echo around them. Jules just rocked, her cheek pressed on to the top of Jess' head.

"I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

The words hung in the air. There was nothing that could make them go away. They rung in their ears and echoed in the room. Jess tried to open her mouth but nothing came out. Jules sat looking shocked as ever. "What?"Jules said slowly.

"I don't know what I'm saying. Forget it." Jess mumbled and pressed her face into the front of the other's jersey.

"But you said it." Jules whispered. "You never say anything you don't mean."

The Indian girl just blinked. It was true. But even as she said those three little words, she didn't know what they meant. Her? Love a girl? The idea was crazy, impossible and implausible. She was a wholesome Indian girl. She never did anything without thinking about her family and how it would affect them and how they would judge her. But how could she actually entertain thoughts about being a lesbian?

But Tony was gay...

Jess tightened her grip on Jules who cradled her and continued to gently rock. "Jess, I have to tell you something. It's not easy. Nothing ever is with us." There was a humorless chuckle at that. "I never meant for this to happen to me or least of all to you. It doesn't seem fair. But," she paused. She wasn't getting choked up. The words were flowing out of her mouth. The problem was that they weren't meaning anything. "I can't help it. When I look at you, when you talk, when you crawl into my bed at night, it makes my heart beat faster and harder. So hard it feels like it's going to beat right out of my chest."

The girl, in her arms, was loosening her hold. As Jules spoke, she could hear Jess' breathing get shallow. Against her own chest, she could feel the other's rapid rising and falling. On her cold clammy neck, she could fast bursts of air. "Don't say it. Please don't." Jess whispered softly.

"How can I not?" Jules pursed her lips. How is it fair that Jess could lay down those words and she couldn't?

"I love you. But if you say it back, then we'll have to do something about it." Jess re-gripped on Jules' arms. She was begging her to grant her this at least. "If you don't love me back, then I can get over this – this crush."

Jules arms fell away from the girl's naked body. "That's all it is?"

"No – yes – only if you don't love me back!" Jess snapped. Her body was shaking, and not from the cold. She could hardly explain the emotions running through her. Jealousy, Jules could go home and be gay. But if Jess did that, a whole community would turn against her. Jules would eventually get her family back. Jess might not. Anger, why did Jules need to put her through this? Fear, this wasn't the track she had planned for herself. Hope, maybe she could actually do this.

"You can't control how I feel." Jules said quietly. "I love you. More than anyone I know. It was never about Joe. That whole row we had back home was because I thought he didn't deserve you. If I took him, then maybe you would have a real shot a happiness." Jules growled as she took Jess by the shoulders, forcing the girl to look at her in the eye. "Everything I did was for you. I just wanted you to be happy, dammit! Any wanker, cunt and slag could see that!"

Jules stared at the blank eyed Indian. Her breath was ragged and harsh. Was nothing she was saying getting through to her? Without warning, she stood and released Jess. Looking at her from the floor, Jess was sure she could see tears forming in her best mate's eyes. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Jules tightened her lips and left.

The shower door opened and a dry sob echoed through the locker room. Kylar fell back onto Jules' legs. "Were you listening at the door?" Jules asked emotionlessly.

Kylar looked into the dull brown eyes of her friend. Her heart was breaking for them both. She couldn't believe that even in the UK it was hard for them to realize there feelings. "Jules," she said softly.

"I should never have listened to you." Jules said walking past briskly. "At least, I'd still have my friend."

Kylar just stared after her. As her back disappeared around the corner, she looked to the open door. She could still hear Jess weeping. Having already warned everyone to just stay away (with as few words as she could manage), she took a deep breath and walked into the shower room. She snatched a towel off the shelves and wrapped it around the Indian girl, who hadn't moved from where Jules left her. If she could just stay there, maybe she could repeat the last fifteen minutes of her life.

Jess felt her body being scooped up. Her eyes were closed. She immediately thought it was Jules. "I'm so sorry, Jules. I'm weak. I can't handle this." She said over and over. Kylar said nothing.

It wasn't long before Jess came to her senses and Kylar had her dressed. But once that was all done, Jess had to go back to her room. Her room with Jules. Gulping in air, Jess stood at the door. It wasn't until Kylar nudged the small of her back that she realized that she would have to actually open the door and go inside.

"You can't stay with me. I have my own hellmate." Kylar muttered about the biology major that had a rule about spontaneous guests.

Jess turned to her and pleaded with those big brown eyes. Her American friend stood firm. Gripping the knob and jamming in the key, Jess stared in amazement at how much her hands were shaking. Why was she so afraid of seeing her best mate? Surely Jules would understand her fear?The way Jules stormed out of the showers, Jess wasn't so sure. There was another nudge from Kylar.

The door opened from under Jess' hands. The Indian girl's eyes widened as Jules appeared at the door. The light brown eyes of the British girl hardened. The tense moments that passed made Jess' heart constrict. She couldn't breathe. Jules squeezed by them. Dressed in her best, she walked down the hall without a word.

"Jess," Kylar breathed. But the girl didn't reply. She entered the room and closed the door right behind her. Pressing her forhead against the wood of the door, Kylar could hear the racking sobs breaking away from her friend. She pursed her lips. She had meddled enough and with this door between them, she couldn't comfort Jess.

Balling her fist, she followed after Jules. There was a scowl on her face. The scariest look on the face of the earth was on the tall African American. When she got to the common room, the scowl diminished. "Jules!" She said sharply.

Jules turned her head to look at who dared called her name. She was stretched out on one of the couches, facing away from everything else. "What do you want, busybody?"

"You're just going to sleep out here, and let Jess think you're picking up some slut and/or manwhore?" Kylar seethed.

"What the bloody hell do you care? You can plainly see that I'm not." Jules mumbled and turned back to the couch.

"But you are letting her think you are. That's the problem. What are you trying to make her jealous?"

"Fuck you, Ky. You heard what she said. She doesn't want to have any part of this." Jules said lifelessly. Why was Kylar pushing her so hard?

"She's scared! You know her family! They mean a lot to her! Losing them is like losing part of herself!"

"Too bad, I'm not as important."

The husk of a voice was annoying. Kylar just stared at her friend in disbelief. "I don't even know when you got so selfish. Jules, my friend, one of my very best friends, she would know that a relationship is about two people. It would be just about her. The Jules I know would be willing to make it work. No matter what the cost."

Jules stood up in a flash and took long strides right towards Kylar. Her nose was centimeters away from the chocolate one of her friend. "Just mind your fucking business, alright? You don't know shit! This had nothing to do with you. And I now I fucked up a great friendship under your prodding and picking. I hope you are fucking happy!"

With Jules breathing hard in her face, Kylar clenched up her fists and ground her teeth. "Fine, blame me. Blame me because you're too scared to be strong for Jess. Go back to your little couch and your little mind games. You'll never be fully and completely happy with anyone as you are with Jess. But fine, blame me and go and run away."

Kylar didn't say anything else. She just stepped to the side and left Jules standing in the middle of the room. At that point neither of them cared if anyone had heard their exchange.

XXX

The next morning, Jess' eyes stuck together as she tried to wake up. She was laying her bed, covered up in a blanket, facing the wall. She sighed and rolled over. The pounding headache she had was a clear sign that yesterday was not in her imagination. Looking over at her dormmate's bed, she expected to see it unmade and unruly like they had left it yesterday.

Jessminder sat straight up when she saw the bed stripped off its sheets and boxes pack (rather messily) on top of the bed. Frowning, she looked at the room. Jules' stuff was all packed up. Her breathy quickened, as panic rushed through her.

She was going home.


End file.
